Not a song about grief. A song about the person, which is harder and matters more.
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There is a shortage of things to do. You can choose a reading, you can pick a hymn, and you can stand up and try to speak while your voice does something unfamiliar. What there is no version of is a song that is about this person specifically, rather than a song about loss in general that happens to be playing.
This is not only for funerals. People write these for a first anniversary, for a birthday that keeps arriving, for a scattering years later, and for the ordinary Wednesday when it lands again with no warning. The brief is not easy to fill in. That is expected. Write what you remember, in whatever order it comes.
Who they actually were
The laugh, the terrible driving, the thing they always said. Not their virtues in the abstract. The person, in detail.
For the memorial or the funeral
A song for the service or the gathering afterward, when everyone is in one room and nobody knows what to say.
For the anniversary
A year on, five years on. The date arrives whether or not anyone marks it. This is a way of marking it.
It has been a year today. La Ritournelle helped me make a tribute song for Grandad, mostly the driving and the crossword. I thought you would all want to hear it.
Name: Grandad Frank. Bond: grandfather, died in March. Occasion: Tribute song. Tone: warm and even funny. Anecdote: he did the crossword in pen and would not be told, to adapt with a real memory. Delivery: played at the gathering after the service. Indicative example, exact lyrics not promised.
Name: Rosemary. Bond: mother. Occasion: Memorial service. Tone: quiet and plain. Anecdote: she wrote everything down in the same notebook for forty years and the family still has it, to adapt with a real memory. Delivery: played during the service. Indicative example, exact lyrics not promised.
Name: Adam. Bond: brother, died five years ago at thirty one. Occasion: Anniversary. Tone: hopeful and steady. Anecdote: he was late to absolutely everything and never once apologized for it, to adapt with a real memory. Delivery: shared with the family on the date. Indicative example, exact lyrics not promised.
Their name, what they were like, the memory that keeps returning, and where the song will be heard.
We write the lyrics for your review, then produce a fully sung, studio quality track.
Play it at the service, send it to the family, or keep it entirely for yourself. There is no wrong answer.
Yes. Services come round quickly, and the song is ready in minutes once the brief is in, so a last minute one is no trouble. Tell us it is for a service and we keep it steady and appropriate for a room of people who are already struggling. You get an MP3 and a link, so it can be handed to whoever is handling the audio.
Most people do not. Do not attempt a eulogy. Write three things you remember, however small or strange, and how they made you feel. Small and specific is what makes a song sound like a person.
Not if they were funny. A tribute that removes someone's humor is not really about them. Tell us what they were like and we write that, whatever register it lands in.
No. There is no expiry on this. Anniversaries, birthdays, and ordinary days keep arriving, and people write these long after everyone else has stopped asking how they are.
Tell us the story, we handle the rest. Your song is ready in minutes.
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